It seems like nowadays, whenever we turn on the news, some devastating event has occurred. It is never easy to handle devastation, and it is often times a long process. People will say things like, “time will heal the wounds,” “you’ll get through this,” or “get over it.”
It is easy to say these things when you are not personally dealing with the situation. It is impossible to prepare for devastation because no one knows when it will strike, where it will strike, or who it will effect – so how do you deal with it when it does strike?
First things first, breathe. Stop, take a deep breath and realize that it is perfectly fine to be upset or even devastated.
Know that it is perfectly okay to be upset, mad, hurt or completely broken. Allow yourself to really feel these feelings and let it all out. If you continue to feel hurt, broken, or you feel like it will never get better, you should seek help from someone.
There is nothing wrong with getting help. I am going to say that again – there is nothing wrong with getting help. If you think you need it, don’t wait.
While you are going through the motions, it is also important to make sure you are taking care of yourself.
Like I said before, getting over a devastating event is not an easy process, but do not lose yourself in the process of dealing with it. Make sure you are sleeping, eating and try to not cut yourself out of the world.
Also remember: it is not your fault. Often in times of devastation, people will blame themselves or kick themselves for not doing more.
Be sure to take care of yourself, even if you don’t want to. It will make the healing process easier if you have a clear head.
Dealing with devastation alone is almost unbearable, so surround yourself with people you love. While time alone is perfectly fine and understandable, do not cut everyone out.
Family and friends are the people that will bend over backwards to help you make it through this difficult time.
At first, time alone is all you will probably want, but remember that there are people who love and care about you and will be there when you’re ready; even if it is just to sit in complete silence and drink coffee.
Do not push the people who are trying to help away; let them help when you are ready.
And finally, just stay strong.
It will be hard. It might feel like forever until you feel happiness again, but stay strong. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings your body wants you to feel; yell, scream, cry, beat up a pillow, whatever it is you need to do, do it.
While going through the process just remember that time does heal, and you can get through it.
At Coastal, we have counseling services that are more than willing to meet and talk with you.